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12 Stages Of Procrastination

Updated: Mar 11, 2019

We've all been there. It's such a vicious cycle and so hard to stop. OH THE HUMANITY!

1. Procrastinate

Before I do anything I must procrastinate to make sure I feel entertained and happy before I do what I need to do.

2. Anxiety

I haven't started anything yet. I wonder if it's too late?

3. Bargaining

Okay if I procrastinate a little more then I won't feel as anxious. I'm gonna do laundry first then clean my room that way I'm still being productive!

4. Optimism

I did all my chores and washed the dishes. I feel a lot better. I think I can write this paper now!

5. Reward

But first since I did all that work, I need to watch a funny video! I deserve it.

6. Procrastinate

I'm just gonna watch one more episode of Shameless and I promise I will start working. Just kidding I'm not working lol.

7. Attempt

I forgot how much I hate writing essays. Why does this need to be like 50 pages long? Seriously who is gonna care about the thesis of the process of optimized ovulation coverage of trees with evolved lymphocytes in endodermis through artificial simulation. I can't take this anymore. Oh's only been 15 minutes.

8. Boredom

Wow I need a break already. This is so dumb. I don't even know what I'm typing anymore. Okay I need a lil something to get me to focus.

9. Procrastinate

Ahhh yes. Oh how I missed you YouTube! I just can't do anymore work right now haha. Alright let's see if we have any cute puppies or some makeup tutorials to watch. Then I'll look up some good study music that's like "I hate my life but at the same time I don't wanna fail with a little bit of jazz."

10. Anxiety

Omg what is wrong with me? I did it again! Great. Now I'm gonna have to pull an all-nighter now. And my first class is at 8am tomorrow. And I have an exam right after I turn in this paper.

11. Denial

It can't be that bad....haha right? RIGHT?! okay I just need 2 more pages in the next hour and print this sucker and walk to class. I have this red bull and I will use it. I will just have to type the first thing that comes to mind. Wait did I just hear the printer's not working?

12. Despair

OH GOD WHAT I'VE HAVE DONE?!?!?!?!?! I'm doomed. Yep. The printer really isn't working. Plus, all the crap I wrote is just the same thing 5 different ways. I'm going to fail this class. Well it can't get any worse can it? Alright from now for as LONG AS I LIVE, god as my witness, I will start early next time.

Next week's assignment......

oh that paper isn't due in like 2 days. I have plenty of time. sheesh.

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